Searching for Christmas Decorations I

I know I've blogged about this in MySpace.. but i hopefully can put more picts here...
See... being Antisocial is a target.... hahaha fang and kuan.. who does this remind u of???
Anywayz.. i was saying i went to look for Christmas Decors in the city.. here are the complete pics of designs i took.. with my camera on a bubble tea cup.. lolz.. i think i look silly next to all these pple with their tripods..

Searching for Xmas Decorations II

This was one of my fav designs... but Happy Christmas sounds weird...

Searching for Xmas Decorations III

Actually most of the time.. i don't know what kinda pattern I'm looking at.. lolz..

3 storey high Xmas tree!!!!.. hahha it's really really big... but don't hav gigantic presents at the bottom though....

Searching for Xmas Decorations IV

I know this is barely readable.. but hahah i'm too lazy to type this list again.. for details, pls see MySpace blog =P but this tree does takes alot to put together... >.<" Look at all those Swaroski Crystals.. they put barrier ard the tree so that pple cannot juz take'em.. but some how they look sortta fake.. i realise i find weird Xmas trees every year.. 2 yr ago, i found a beer can Xmas tree, 1 yr ago, i found the ferrero roche Xmas tree, this yr a Swaroski crystal Xmas tree.. i wonder what will i feel next yr...


Wow!!! look what I found at a display window near the Xmas tree... well the tree is found in a building called Queen Victoria Building.. i forgot why is it called the name.. but anywayz.. i wonder in like 78 years will i still be alive to read it? I would be what? 99 years old?? hahahah hrm.. the content might be really interesting though....
doesn't this look familiar? the all famous Matrix fountain~ hahaha i never recognised it.. but then Derek pointed it out to me~ i wished i was here when they were filming though.. wanted to see Keanu Reeves..he's one of the actors that i actually think that he's quite handsome =P

but this marks the end of my lonly trip ard the city.. at like 9pm? hahaha.. my legs were like super tired.. i wore new shoes to walk ard.. and it really hurt.. since they are not wore-in yet..

whining session

ARGHHH. i need ta whine. omg.

2 reports due and i'm approaching the end of holz.. been lazing ard (got excuse since was sick).. sighz.. gotta get my brain working again... chiong ah....

i'm currently quite broke.. barely hav enuff money to pay my rent till i get my next load of money frm my parents... yet i have so much "wants"... i want a one/two seater couch (if it can ever fit in) in my so called "lounge rm" that isn't very lounge-looking.. with a LCD TV that's at least 21" equipped with Wii (the new Nintendo console) *droolz*, i wouldn't mind a new closet too, one that is taller than me, with more hanging space, and a body-length mirror. haahah guess all this will not happen unless i manage to work my butt off during the holz or strike a lottery...

i'm dreaming too.. just got a application form for industrial placement scholarship for the holz... ard 200 bucks per wk? i must b crazy, mayb i shld leave it to next yr.. shld ask them whether i will be qualified still... if i do ever get in.. i might be able to do all those lab testing, quality control.. oooooo my fav... hahah compulsive lab work... but they chosin pple based on academic merits.. n my results.. sighz. who wld ever want me? nevertheless i will giv it a go. sad case...

advancement in science and exercise

*exact same content as in MySpace... no addition of stuff...*

YO everyone~~ the last assessment before the mid-semester break is FINALLY over. i seriously need to change my habit of falling asleep without knowing and yet waking up 2-3hrs just before due time to prepare for wadeva. hahaha.. 2 incidence in 2 wks.. this is bad.. anyway.. didn't come to blog abt this..

was reading news..
1st there was news abt a newly discovered ocean area, where there's tons of new species.. even sharks that walk on fins

2nd penis transplant. guys, yea u heard me right... this guy in china had his penis successfully transplanted, but eventually removed again after dunno 10 or 15 days due to psych probs...

current advancement of science has gone so far ahead i feel.. i feel.. i dunno.. i'm lost at words...

n i forsee myself getting thinner.. it takes me four trips up and down the stairs to get a meal prepared. how does it make me thinner?
1) i will be too lazy to go and down to get/cook food.. thus less intake
2) even when there's intake.. i'm burning away quite abit before(while cooking) or after (going to wash dishes)
hahah.. oh well.. making me extremely tempted to get a hot plate in my rm..

Laziness

-this is an entirely same entry as the one in myspace... save u guys the troueble to read it again, there's more in this entry though~-

it's a warm sunny sunday afternoon with a light breeze that's absolutely comfortable.. and i decide to hug on to all my tazs on my bed and laze ard... and i also pick up a bk and start reading... and conincidentally... i fonud a quote...

"People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals -- that it, goals that do not inspire them" -Anthony Robbins

have to agree with that... there's work lying on my table.. but... but...

alright. i'll go do it.

"inspire me~ med chem..."

hahahahah... *goes crazy*

and also.. as a note... we shall all congrat miss kuan on her new "attached" status with "ah fung"*gooesbumps all come out* hahahahah...

ZERO motivation.

OMG. i need help. 3 assessments due mon/tues, and 3 tutorials on mon, wed, thurs.. and 0% done. i need motivation... there's no drive in me to keep me going anymore, not even my jap. i'm sick of uni... at the current moment, i just wanna work my as* off so i can earn my own living... (which is what i'm doing currently, what I have now is only enough to pay my rent till feb07, so living fees are all on myself from work).. i know alot of u already living off this way, on your own pay in sg from your job.. but this is really my first time experiencing it.. hrm.. crap. i wan money, and i hate uni. stupid uni suck all my/my family's money from me... CRAP U CRAP U STUPID UNI.

i need to finish my work. CRAP.

The Story Behind...

sorry about the bad post yesterday night.. this few nights been this way.. very tired, sleepy, stressed....

new blog add http://tazlover86.spaces.live.com/
this blog is still active, and available to you guys, i will still be writing here...

well as i told kuan, I'm officially movin out. After a 3 yr struggle with my roommate... it's all over.

basically the story behind was,
it started when she asked if her boyfriend can move in... our aptment is really small and cldn't really accommodate another person... so all of us gathered together to work something out, trying to compromise so we will get a win-win-win situation between the 3 of us. or maybe even 4. but then things turned ugly, we cldn't get a solution, and it was gettin very very frustrating since there were so much uncertainty, on my side about where i gonna live, who am i living with and do i have the money to do so. for 1.5-2 weeks, this dragged on, i cldn't hold it any longer and together with all the grudge and whinings over the 3 yrs, i had wad i wld say a more severe out-burst in my life (this is the 3rd time it happened), i shouted and pointed and cried, screamed things that i might or might not mean.. (you know what happens when anger taks over)...

the outcome is ugly, me and winnie is stil friends as we knew what each other wanted, and understood, but me and my rmmate? probably it's over.. will b sometime before we can even speak to each other again. but you know what? i'm glad that at least there's a outcome.

I'm moving to some of the uni provided accommodation... (by the way kuan, i'm keeping my jap looking partition for ya to poke leh kuan.. hurry up and come can or not.) 1 bedroom to myself, pretty big, but don't know the rest of the people in the house (3 others), all caucasians.. pretty scary but quite exciting tooo... hahah.. i probably be online more.. since not too sure i have too much to talk to them now.. oh well..

that's about it.. oh ya.. remember the blue mountains trip i talked about? the entry about it is in the msn blog.. go check it out~

take care la~~ off to lecture...

big changes

one month d.. i'm such a slacker... yet just today i open another blog.. that one like not as "private" as this...

anyway i damn slpy.. just dropped by to say hi and tell everyone that i'm stil alive =P

first HD in uni!!!

YEAH YEAH YEAH.. today is a very memorable.. thus worth bloggin it.. cause.. i got my first HD in my uni life.

HD = High Distinction which range at marks of 85 and above. next is distinction which is 75-84, then credit 65-74 then 50-64 is just a pass.

well there's irony in it though.. my HD came frm a subj that's not related to my degree.. hahaha my jap! oh well.. time to think abt changing course? =P

aniwaez... 3 weeks of holiday came and gone... 2nd semester already started. all my results have been announced and i bid forever goodbye to my BELOVED biochem with a credit on my exam results slip.

i just received an email about a placement program involving industrial pharmacy, which is one of the things that i LOVE!!! LABS and more LABs.. MORE COMPULSIVE LABS!!! bring it on man.. but they chose their pple base on academic merits that's why i don't see how i can be chosen.. but with encouragement from winnie and hazalea.. i decided that i will just give it a go anywae.... see how it goes....

miss kuan and miss fang finally stepped into their big 20s as well~ hahaha we're all lao ren jia now... =P

work hard work hard~ i shall try and maintain my jap and see whether my pharmacy subj can go any higher... hahaha...

headache and random matters

my goodness.. hahah i've been a lazy bum and not comin here to update.. not much to update on though i might wanna post my bdae photos in a bit if i'm free enuff.. i feel like i dun have anything to do, yet there's tons to do really.

Exams are over.. i'm rather satisfied.. at least i get a feeling that i will pass all... hahaha and i've already got my timetable for next sem as well, I'm officially enrolled in the following subj
Medicinal Chemistry 3A
Japanese 2
Astronomy
Astronomy sounds really exciting.. with even a night viewing project which i'm really looking forward to... but it's so sad that it's only 1 session...

Been enjoying my work as well, i'm the only one handling the shop front, so when i started off i'm REALLY REALLY nervous.. but now i'm abit better, less shaky. and one of the pharmacist even offered extra training for me. most of them just don't bother. she's really nice and i enjoy working alot with her, on other day, i work with the manager which is really stressful.. omg.. he seems more strict about things.. but i should be alright.

i might have a 2nd job, remember earlier on in the yr i got a sandwich job which employed me but dump me again after not able to fit me into their shift timetable.. they've called me up again for the holidays.. but they are really unorganised.. they called me the night when i just finish my last paper and asked, "how abt coming down to trng tml?" i say "sure.. how abt my shift times?" "erh we shall see.. " is the ans i get, i turned up for trng, no sign in book, no form no nothing. and worked for abt 2.5hrs.. n when i asked again, when i'm coming again, they are not sure. and this morning they called at 10am, asking can i go at 12pm.. i plainly rejected them.. i slpt at 4am, and is freaking slpy and got my pharm job at 5pm.. i wld not want to turn up to pharm job tired... it's more useful then sandwich making and makes more money~ muahahah.. n i abit scared la... what if they cheat me.. hahah never pay me or wad not...never even note down when i work... haiz...

and ya.. i seem to b gettin frequent headaches.. i dunno why.. abit scared.. hahah this is the profess sickness of pple studying sci or related to medicine... u get small symptoms and u start thinking of the big deadly diseases with the same kinda symptoms.. hrm.. i asked my pharmacist, but she say i shld b fine.. shldn't go running to the doc and get some MRI done yet.. hahah.. mad me...

aniwaez.. holiday.. free but not quite free, busy but not quite busy..we'll see how it goes.

Stepping into the 20s

time flies.. and before i knew it.. i've been on earth for 2 decades.... with no offence to anyone older than me.. but i feel really old now...mayb cos i hav this kinda perception on age...
0-9: u know nothing abt the world.. and basically just a innocent kid running ard, stumbling into things
10-19: u enter ya youth and fun yrs.. u make frenz... go thru thick and thin (usually exams) with them... n usually play the heck out, since this is when u are just FULL of energy
20-29: u are abt to step into the society, uni/graduation --> work + family?
30-39: if stil single --> stressed, if married --> settling down with kids? advancing higher in terms of career
40-49: usually reaching peak of career, having headaches over your full of energy kid (if existent), and near the end of 40s, ur health starts to present subtle symptoms of future diseases?
50-59: plannin for retirement, and basically waiting for it? diseases that u are going to gonna for the rest of ya life surfaces...
60 onwards: don't know.. retirement, grandchildren(if kid existed and they decide to give birth as well...) getting sick, coming in and out of hospital.. having tons of med.. and eventually death..


as i was telling kuan.. i don't really plan on living a long life... cos the longer u live.. the more pple u need to send off frm the surface of earth, the more sadness u need to endure thru to see your love ones leave ya side... the longer u live.. the more pain u will feel (that's how i reason gd pple die early.. since they need not suffer the pain of living on earth as much), the more worries u get... bLAH.. yes all this are absolutely selfish and cowardy thots.. but i don't think
i can take it...

and thinking back.. if i were to die tml (touch wood.. but we'll never noe, if it's ur turn, it's urs.. can't escape), will i feel that i've live life to my own satisfaction? i probably think hav i made a difference in someone's life in a gd way? am i.. in terms of overall.. gd even an average wld suffice ( i definitely hav done things i'm not proud of, bad/nasty/mean...etc things.. hopefully not that much till i am defined as a bad person.. haha).. anyway.. i shall stop writing sad stuff.. hahaha

today birthday is just an ordinary day for me, even after my frenz were so nice to hav my party yesterday nite so that today i can go out with derek in case he planned something... i stayed at home since derek had group meeting... oh well...

yesterday nite had steamboat party, pictures wld hav to wait.. since erm.. not that free to get it organised... was fun.... with frenz and had it at derek's place... just chattin and laffin over yummy food... had horrible time organising it and cleaning up... but is worth it...

my frens here hav decided to sponsor me on a one day trip with derek to the blue mountains as my bdea gift... derek cannot decide on wad to buy for me and puts it on hold till july when i can go n chose my own... sc says wadever i wan just name it and she will get it... kuan and fang's present is delayed (unlike prev. few yrs they mailed it over... actually really i appreciate it.. but save money.. just pass it to me when i return this yr end...)... but really present or not, i don't really mind.. if got.. of cos happy, dun hav also won't die... just the thot of wanting to giv me one is enuff already.. serious... since basically i equate it to "i'm your friend".. n i will b satisfied enuff with that.. *yawns* ok.. slpy d... exam in 2 wks... i mite pop ard sometime again...

I'M EMPLOYED!!!!!!!!!! *JUMPS ARD*

YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!! omg.. i so need to share my joy with u guys.. after 1.5yrs being jobless.. I"M FINALLY EMPLOYED AGAIN!!! =D wah wah wah.. so super happy.. i got the job at the pharmacy.. hope it will last long.. totally work super hard for it~ =) =) =)

oh ya.. today got back results for my med chem mid-sem.. hrm.. not as high as i wanted.. but still i'm satisfied as I got higher than usual.. though i'm still the lowest amongst the grp of friend that i hang out with.. but comparing just puts me down more.. so i'm rather satisfied.. ~ need to work harder and harder!!!

random stuff

muahah.. i dunno why the heck am i here.. nothing in particular to blog abt.. oh hold on.. actually got.. hahhahah.. there were times, n many of them that i felt like bloggin here but dunno why.. just so lazy....

aniwae.. finally my job-finding luck is coming back.. i got a job to do stocktake for 2 days at one of the major bk dealers in aus~ yeaHH.. n also i was called up by the pharmacy that i applied to some wks ago to go down for an interview... YESH!

so i went down... SO NERVOUS... don't know why probably too long never go for interview, and also feeling guilty about me not telling them i'm a retainee (probably not really one.. but yes i do consider myself as one.)... reached there 10mins before the time i was suppose to reach (must giv gd impression!!) n the interview went on.. nothing much.. but i don't think i've got a gd chance at all... since like i really got no experience at all in this field and hav not much knowledge of how things work.. but the worse thing was, i stumbled horridly on this question "what do u think u can offer to this shop?" then i was like.. "erhhhhhhh... " omg.. seriously wad can i offer? i just said "well... i don't really know a lot of thing about pharmacy, but i guess i'm a pretty friendly person.." OMG.. can't i think of something more intelligent then that? sheesh... desperately need a job... sigh.. will get reply frm him in a couple of days apparently... if nothing happens.. too bad....

oh n why do i DESPERATELY need a job? i went to see the chinese physician (apparently a VERY famous one) and my wallet got drained.... i really don't wanna disclose the amt of i spent.. but it's ALOT.... aniwae according to the chinese physician, the soft bone at my elbow and knee burst and dislocated.. oh well.. after treatment commenced, my knee have been feeling much better.. but my elbow.. hrm.. don't know.. only slight improvement..

ARGH.. exams approaching soon too.. though only in abt 3wks... next wk hav 2 major test~ both abt jap.. ahhah... one is composition.. like omg.. i really don't know whether i can survive that... and listening.. which shld b manageable.. i hope.. 10% and 15% each..

ok.. lazy d.. write again next time... =)

the post after a long disappearance

wow.. didn't realise i disappeared for 1 mth... woops.. well i just sort of lost the urge of blogging.. didn't feel like going on msn, didn't feel like surfing the internet, didn't really feel like my fav online flash games.. omg..

now i'm back.. well~ loads happened.. some might have heard from me frm my random appearance in msn that...

the sprain queen (frm sec sch yrs) hav returned.. this time, i didn't sprain my ankle.. wow something new.. i sort of sprained my knee.. this happened on easter sunday... i stil wonder is there any hidden meaning behind this.. anyway. i was playing a badminton match halfway when i sort of jumped/hopped to my left to receive a certain shuttle, and i heard my knee "CRACK"(well imagine the sound that u hear when u crack ya knuckles...) and i was like SHIT. i was so scared that i just dislocated my knee or fractured my thigh bone or wad not... so i gave way to my body, i didn't wanna put anymore pressure on my knee, and i feel to the grd. the next thing i knew, my left knee and left elbow hurted like CRAP... and i'm curled into a ball on the court... pple rushed to my aid, there were sj members on the court and after meddling ard for a bit, i got sent to the hospital in an ambulance... nothin much was going thru my brain, other than PAIN.. and wadz wrong with my leg, will i play again? will i walk normal again? went thru x-ray, no fracture, no dislocation.. my doc (which really didn't seem like my doc) did some examination on me.. bending my arm and leg ard to see wad's really wrong.. just when she bent my arm to the most painful position.. someone dropped by to tell her something.. WAH.. and my tears just flow like spoilt tap... crap.. well she concluded with i've got soft tissue injury on both my elbow and knee, and recommend that i go for CT scan to check it out for ligamentous injury after a few days since there will be tremendous swellin since it's just injuried... i went to see another GP a few days later, and was given some med to get rid of the swelling for my swollen knee and a letter to go for ultrasound... went for the ultrasound a few days later (as recommended by the GP) and fortunately, the results are negative, so no ligament tear or wad not.. so i was left to heal on my own.. and i'm feeling much better now.. thanks to my many frens who took care of me, asked abt me... (just in case, i didn't tell my parents abt this.. so anyone who wld actually have a chance of coming in contact to them.. don't mention this thx.. save them frm worrying eh)

and then came the mid-semester exam for medicinal chem that wrecked the brains out of me.. but it's now gone as well.. not much details on that....

that sort of concludes the main past event that happened durin my absence...

i came on to blog cos there was this thot that was bugging me frm friday... i went to the jap cultural club meeting... n one of this gal.. after the meeting was trying to promote this event she has been organising for another club... wad she keep on saying over and over just cannot leave me head..."by coming to the forum, u can put it in ya CV.. and it will look gd!" "i don't really care if pple come and listen to the talk properly, u can just sit there n slp and fill up the seats" so i was like.. so u weren't really sincerely organising it will the mindset of benefiting anyone other than make it a successful event that u can list in ya CV.

this phenomenon raises another prob abt our supposingly improved judging system, where many companies been trying to reduce just looking at marks and look at a overall developement of a person's character, and how they take part at other events.. but this attitude? i don't see much change. where is our world marching to? seriously, if i was a boss i wld b so totally impressed at her beautiful CV, flourished with decent marks and numerous leadership position in many many other clubs. BUT. where's the sincerity, where's the POINT in doing all those events? i don't know wad am i trying to go to with this entry, just that this BUGS me. pple just do things to make their CV look nice. or mayb i'm just being a whiner as usual, since i don't score well, and i don't achieve much though i participate in a hell lot of other activities, basically i'm being quite a loser. on the other hand, i can say will no doubt that i join the activities bcos i really enjoy them. i organise events to bring pple together, to bring joy. not to make my cv look nice. a nice cv doesn't make ya life all that meaningful. i don't know. sighz.. hahah anyway.. gettin a backache frm typing such a long enrty after such a long break.. see ya guys soon.. Oh yea.. grats to my frenz that finished ya exams.. ENJOY the hols~

Being good in not good in anything~

get wad i mean? sighz... just wenta play badminton.. and wad turned out of it.. today i played more actively and more games compared to last wk.. and i even manage to play a single match with one gal.. trashed. 11-0. sort of waked me up... i've been active in so many things.. yet i dun hav one that i'm really gd in.. NONE. really.. the onli thing i'm gd in is probably knowing abit of most things.. wad so sad.. then i think somemore.. mayb that's why i dun excel in anything, my interests are too diverse... mayb if i can focus.. then i wld finally excel in something.. hahaha but i'm just not kinda person.. so oh well.. i might just be in this way till the end of my life....

how mean?

just now, i past by the train station, there's this lady, who lives there.. alwaes at the corner of the entrance of the train station, i notice her everytime i past by, nevered stop to say hello( like y wld i do that?) or never gave her any money either(well she doesn't actually put out something to ask pple for it aniwae).. she just usually sits there, with a cap and sunglasses, and her luggage.. not lookin at anyone, just being there by herself.. then there was this grp of well.. look like "well-off" 50s... who walked past her.. n one of the them (a guy specifically) pointed her out to the rest of the grp, said something in foreign language (they are caucasians) and the whole grp laffed out loud.. n the lady just continued sitting there.. not giving any response.. maybe she's use to it.. for this few years i've been around the city, she's been there as well.. probably this is not her first time.. but i pitied her. i really condemn those grp of pple that laffed.. it's not funny, at all. it's just like u have food in your hands and you laugh at those who are dying of hunger in africa. it may or may not be the lady's fault who ended her up in the streets, but she's already in a pathetic enough situation... on the other hand.. if she hasn't done anything to help herself either then that's her prob.. why laugh... i condemn those grp of pple. sighz.. wadz wrong with this world...

just read kuan's and fang's blog.. both.. look depressing. it's even more depressing to me, as a friend and i cld not b there when frenz need help. i hope they'll b alright...but i guess life's this way, u meet obstacles on the way.. sometimes ur frenz are there to help u pass it, sometimes u hav to go thru them yaself...

aniwae.. need ta go off to badminton now... write somemore if i got more to say later...

to kuan: thx for saying i'm a gd gal.. but no spelling test thankew.. i probably cannot take the hit of failing it =P

riding under a rainbow gate....

just came back from a short table tennis/badminton session... learnt table tennis for like wad.. 4 lessons in pri 3.. then too lazy to wake up at 8am in the morning.. and thus dropping out of it.. hahah the guys that taught wasn't the coach.. but he's just good.. ahhaha so suppose to teach me this kinda beginner.. so no need to trouble the coach lah... then after that, realise my friends are playing just next to the table tennis club.. so after club activity finish. .go kachow kachow.. ahhaha.. stroke a few times.. feel that my body is so stiff.. lack of stamina.. omg.. wish i can b young and energetic again.. (yes i'm trying to say i'm old (i can hardly stay up 24hrs and b hyper the next day) and realli abit outta energy) while on the way back home.. it was sunny on one side and really cloudy/rainy towards the city side where i'm heading towards.. and looking up... i saw this BIG ARCH of rainbow in front.. hahaha the scene looks abit like playing tv game.. me being the thingy that i usually control in the game.. and there are these arcs of gates made out of rainbow colour.. so duh rite.... pple alwaes say if u find the starting point of the rainbow, you'll find a pot of gold.. but hahah that will never happen...natural phenomenones (how the heck do u spell that again?) are just amazing things aren't they.. again remindin us just how 渺小 we are...

random post outta no where... hahah rem the post i did earlier on.. well winnie read it.. woops.. i didn't purposely write it for her to see.. but then i kinda forgot that she's the onli 1 in aus that hav my blog add =P 因禍得福? we kinda tok abt it a little.. at least.. what i wanna say.. is said.. i shall try to speak up more i guess... as for between winnie n cindy.. i dunno.. guess have to wait till later when the 3 of us can sit down and tok tok..

enjoying uni (for once) and the fight?

wk 3 just passed.. and... i seem to be enjoying uni, at least on wed... my schedule now is pretty full.. not bcos of work but bcos of the club activities i'm participating in... on wed, i had the jap cultural club's conversational workshop, where native jap pple teach you how to speak jap.. and it was an enjoyable 2 hrs... it was just abt making frenz, joking ard and learning a new lang at the same time.. =D

well now abt the fight.. hrmz.. well firstly i must announce that my dislike towards my, as know to many here, irritating hsemate is improving.. i think cos i no longer do the same subjs as her, i'm relieved of the stress that i naturally generate.. no more competition, no more stress.. thus the "fight" is between winnie and my rmmate...mostly bcos winnie is stern on her words when she scold my rmmate and my rmmate finally is collapsing with winnie's attitude and calculative-ness...

打不過而退縮是一種寵壞別人的行為嗎? i'm kinda stuck in the middle.. part of me do side with winnie, but part of me actually side with my rmmate as well.. but the prob is.. i'm not as fierce (in a sense) and "stand up for myself" kinda person compared to winnie... sometimes even if i voice up.. i stil lose... thus sometimes issues come up but i jus giv up on tokin abt it.. or even scared that if i fight with her.. would i cause her to fall back into depression? or am i just worrying too much? as my rmmate(ok yea. time to learn her name, cindy) says that i'm spoiling her... sighz.. wad a mess...

i didn't realli elaborate on wad are the actual incidence that happen.. cos there are quite a few.. and just too tedious to describe them the proper way so u all get the whole picture.. i stil lack the language skills to express myself properly...