if u squirt(is this how u spell this??) your eyes and look properly.. u will see some shaky blue dots/dash... it's actually the Southern Cross.. took this on my camera at derek's place.. cooL eh? 

how weird part II... the previous picture is actualli a brothel.. and this shop is right next to it.. hahah.. as if like if some old guy went into the brothel, died of a stroke or something can conveniently send it to them... juz so weird... 

how weird... part I 

a highly recommended pic~ not bcos it featured me looking really cool(well pretending at least).. but it juz look damn pro.. hahah hazalea took it... mayb i can get it into some photography competition... jk.. =P 

at the far end of the beach~ nice scenary... 

looK~ the water in the lagoon is really clear... 

they had a lagoon there~ really nice.. took a lot of pics there.. i can't post them all here though =P  

another view of the beach~

went to coogee beach the next day (sounds like congee beach! =P ) with my foundation friends and 2 other uni friends.. the malaysian society of my uni had a BBQ at the beach that day too but we never join them~ 

after the reunion~ went to eat dinner with derek's aunt and uncle... we ate at this french restaurant.. since his uncle is french.. thus explain the snail shell that u're seeing here.. i tried like..1/4 of the snail.. no particular taste... but still abit scary to eat... 

taken when we juz about to leave... we didn't went there to meet our klassmates.. juz went there to meet teachers and this bunch of us see each other regularly.. so hahaha.. quite dumb... aniwae.. got 2 new dudes in the photo.. 2nd frm left is raz is winnie's bf, and the girl that's sittin next to winnie is shindi, my rmmate... hrmmm... 

we had a reunion of foundation students frm my college(pre-u), grp photo taken with my teacher~ frm left to right: melinda(sg),hazalea(m'sia),teri(m'sia),christina(hk),claudia(my ex-physics, and maths teacher frm spain), ksusha(russia), winnie(hk,my hsemate!), me~ 

between 16th Feb -- 11th Mar

it's all about settling down... my supposingly hsemate, winnie and me juz had too mani request towards the new apartment.. we tried very much to compromise each other.. but no apartment meet our requirements and she was realli pushing to hav the apartment by mar.. and there juz not enough time.. in the end... i settled back at my old apartment... so it's me, and my rmmate(the same old one..) and winnie in the other rm..

we wanted the apartment to start anew... so we hired pple to clean up the whole place.. get rid of the mess that de previous girls left (not me and my roommate lah.. the other 2 girls that moved out).. it was a realli messy situation...alot of issues went out of control esp when it involved $$ and winnie.. suddenly this time come back she become realli tight on her money when it comes to sharing the cost when purchasing communal stuff... but aniwae we tok it out and all got settled before sch started...

sch started on 7th mar.. and WOH.. hey.. the lecturers are already pouring down the real stuff in there.. going in full speed eh.. have to catch up~.. but i'm juz not use to being hardworking... =P

oh ya oh ya.. i muz mention.. i got myself a new "toy" hahaha.. it's juz that i bought a new bike to ride to sch.. but that realli hurt my wallet.. bye bye to half of the money that i earned last yr frm my jobs...

also since i dun think i gonna move in 2 yrs time.. i decided that i want a bed.. but in the rm that i share if i put a bed then not enough space for my rmmates bed(we both had the mattress on the floor for the whole of last yr.. when reach winter damnnnn cold.. bbrrr...) so we shared and bought a bunk bed.. i got the top bunk~ and on the first day we got the bed.. i already bump my head on the wall twice alreadi... argh.. haha but i'm getting use to it.. no more incidents of bumping on the wall~

14th Nite/15th Feb~

went to visit the studio in the morning with serene.. she wrote about the studio in the papers since it is like the first in sg kinda thingy.. realli cool to be inside~ hahah.. never try to sing though i juz listen.. cos i guess if i did i wld hav smashed the glass there... later at night flew off to sydney~ xy came by my place n gav me a flower she made~ how nice rite... V day present!! hahah.. then at the airport sc came to send me.. that gal ah.. my parents wanted to treat her to swensons then she go and run off... haiyaH~

on the flight i was realli tired.. i tried to watch LOTR III but then too tired liao.. fell aslp half way.. woke up in the morning to watch again.. then before i can finish the movie... the plane land alreadi.. waddddd... aiyah.. leave me hanging in the middle of the story...

sighz.. reaching "home" in aus is even worse.. ~ i entered to see the kitchen in a HORRIBLE mess.. the kitchen tiles turned frm white -> black.. i realli dunno what the other gal that arrive before me did loh.. my gdness...

weird looking cliff.. hahah.. juz took it for fun~ as if it's neatly cut till like that... 

first um.. i dunno settlement i see from the plane when passing aus~ 

last view of changi airport from the plane... 

at the departure gate leaving sg.. on the 14th of feb.. taking pics like this kampong gal never been to airport like that.. but then juz got new camera.. so juz keep snapping!  

one more one more!! hahah serene don't kill me.. this shop is in CS~ go check it out.. u might get spotted since wad i heard is that they submit monthly the singers that they think is good to the 8 big record companies in sg.. cooL eh.. 

Serene at the studio~ i was lucky enough to be there to hear fantastic singing.. went there in the morning i was about to fly off... 

Long waited post~

yO dudes.. hahah.. long time no see eh.. =P been busy settling in thus.. wait till now then i update my blog.. i gonna blast u all with tons of photos i took and wad happened for this 1.5 months that i disappeared..

i will use this format when posting.. i try post all the photos then i describe with another paragraph wad happened.. since i stil cannot figure out how to have multiple pics posted up woops.. =P

PS> kuan.. u can read till u puke out wadeva u hav during work time cos i say this is going to b a LONGGGGGGGGG post.. hahahah.. here we go..

the birthday presents frm sc and xy~ love the cup, it's a "me to you", better than the plain cup i hav in aus now, and the flower~ so cute the bee~ ahhahaa.. can spice up my study table  

me and tsz shan!  

the icecream we're havin when i met tsz shan, hahah 4 favour, 2 colours with 2 shades (by conincidence), frm top right quadrant clockwise, golden kiwi(realli realli fruity), green tea, coffee, tiramisu~  

Multipersonality~

hey pple here i am again~ hrm.. 2more days and i'm off.. i've been too use to the comfort here in sg, with my family... i'm juz feeling so not willing to move back to aus to the strive to continue with life kinda attitude.. hRmmM~

anyway, shld juz write abit of wad i remember wad i've heard quite recently, i heard frm some program, a serial drama,

"We're all psychologically sick. (that particular episode is abt this lady who hav the multipersonality disorder(i dunno the scientific name) ) But it's juz that she lost control of all those personalities while we're stil in control. At home we are parents to our children, children to our parents, out at work we're the professionals to our patients and in school we're students to our lecturers and a buddy to our friends. There are juz so many roles in our life, we behave differently with respect to the context we're in. It's juz that we're in control, she's not."

it juz strikes me how true is that.. like cOOl~ this words aren't exact but i hope i captured the essential bits. and i juz lost wad i was thinking abt this whole chunk of words.. my gdness... teenage dementia~~ aHHHH...

today met up sc~ actualli suppose to b meet xk and watch movie one.. but that idiot... slp till 2pm then wake up.. wad the heck.. as mean as it may sound, i wanna say to maintain a friendship with him.. is so tiring, it's like if u're not within that particular grp that is closer to him, u have take the initiative and even if so the ball may not bounce back. but anyway, she gav me the 2nd half of the present she and xy share to give me~ hahah love them... then basically crap thrU~

then yesterday went to met up with Tsz Shan~ my best friend frm p5.. it is juz a wonder how the heck did we manage to click so well.. we're like the exact opp...but aniwaez ya.. we kinda hrm.. distanced apart after we entered sec sch since we're in different class... well, honestly speaking for the past few years.. i felt guilty that i never like work on this realli amazing frenship that we had.. we juz went more and more apart... but yesterday, it was back to the past with her.. i dunno is it juz a spur of the moment thing or wad.. but i'm glad that i felt much closer to her again, i dunno whether she feels the same way, but i juz wanna say that.. frenship is a truly fascinating thing.. realli realli treasure every single friend that u hav~ =)

Chan Egg cannot complain liaO~

hahaha.. see chan eng complained why no pic on my blog.. so here.. there u go.. hahaha though i stil need some time to figure out how this thing work.. abit the complicated and it's in the middle of the night you see.. wait till i go back aus, i ask my friends.. they all more experienced... me stil abit the cacat(this word means "disabled" in malay, though mostly use for meaning in terms of cannot make it) ... my frens can post multiple photos in one entry and mine all in separate one.. hrmm.. duno how.. hahaha.. wait lah.. i go back then fix.. now tahan this kinda style first =)

me and the egg~ somehow i look kinda dumb.. lalala 

sc and egg at the sushi place~ 

another pic~ 

Hahaha xunkai look like he lost his lower set of teeth~ lalala 

Happy CNY to All!!

yO peepz~ in quite a bouncy mood.. i hav not a single idea why the heck am i feelin bouncy... aniwaez, Happy CNY to aLL~ Hopefully this yr is smooth-sailing for aLL~

time juz seems to fLLLLLLLyyy~ so fast (as i said to many that i met today)... it seems to b a blink of eye away(translated frm that chinese idiom) that i got my attachment.. now, my attachment is approaching the last day, and i'm about to fly back off to australia in ard 3 days.. 時間先生啊...請您留步..

haven done much for first day of cny, didn't go bai nian stay at home all day to pei my daddy and mommy to watch dvd~

then second day, went out on mini outing with sc(siew chin), xy(xinyu), egg(chan eng), xk(xunkai) and cw(chee wee) ... well to me, the main aim for the meeting is to meet xunkai the eskimo, since mr eskimo is out frm his igloo and many of us haven met him like.. for months, so this is a gd opportunity to meet up and catch up a little bit on each other... started off as usual.. very the xunkaish.. since super last minute decide go where and what time.. then me was planning to meet xinyu then go together... juz b4 i left my home, i msg xk to ask him how he going, like mayb can meet him on the way then go together.. chat longer~ended up mr. eskimo is rather rich =P and was taking a cab there and was so very nice to offer to pick me up to the meeting place as he was ard the area.. so i told xinyu and met up later to take the cab with xk when he pass by, but as usual, xk is late..hahaha cldn't hail a cab... so we're quite late when we finally met up with sc who walk HMV till she sian liao, and egg, we wanted to catch constantine.. but cineleisure haven get it on screen and lido showtime wasn't quite the suitable for us since we arrived there late(we made chee wee queue there in the end never get the tics then he very "pissed" hahaha.. cos the queue was quite long loH~ =P ) the whole outing ended with us sitting in a restaurant and listen to 2 ns dudes rant abt army days... though quite annoying, it's rather interesting sometimes.. after xy,cw and xk left me,sc,egg stayed to eat some sushi~ and crapped on, mitch wanted to join and we juz didn't expect to stay so long since egg wanted to go home and eat dinner and me, sc juz wanted to grab very little food... in the end crapped on in the sushi place till ard 8pm then go home...

mitch called halfway while i was on the train back, since i was supposed to meet her up for coffeee, complaining that we left her out of the outing and stay in orchard for so long also never ask her out.. felt really guilty lah, realli didn't expect to crap till so late one... die liao loh....

xk leh.. stil as vain and late as ever... hahaha the kor that i think that forgot i'm his mei...stil, he was rather nice though very liao as usual~ challenged him to DDR and time crisis, very disappointed that i lost to him in DDR but damn happy that i won in time crisis hahahahah~

well as i said before i was recollecting the outing events, time really flies.. happy times fly even faster.. today's outing ended before i even told notice. thus i enjoyed my attachment alot since i find that since i was on the attachment, time juz flew away like some rocket...

wah.. i spend one hr on this blog liao leh.. actualli when i started, i wanted to write more.. but then leh.. by the time i reach here hor.. all forgot liao.. dementia... teenage dementia.. hahaha... ok lah.. tml last day of work liao.. need to get ready my stuff~ see whether can write more tml =)
last line for all and myself~
New Year, New Things, New Memories, Clear out the past and Start Afresh~ (mY main aim for the year~~~ ) !! jia you!!!

YEAH!! i DiD iT~

i did it i did it i did it~ ahahahh not mis-packing anything at work.. and i actualli took initiative to ask the pharmacist to let me follow them down to the wards to take a look at what they do~ and it was juz a short trip, but i learn a whole lot of stuff~ the pharmacists are realli helpfUL~ i even saw the prison ward, ICUs, psychiatric ward, normal ward.. cOOl~ i gonna bug them to take me down again tml.. this is amazing.. yeaH~ initiative! =D

iF oNLy i caN a tiny weenY bit more less *TU TU TU TU TU*(the sound that u hear on TV when pple scold vulgar lang.) forgetful, blur and careless

OMG.. what did i do at work again today.. I PACK THE WRONG MED AGAIN!!.. why?? my aim for the day was.. "BECAREFUL... check CAREFULLY..so won't pack wrongly again.. make gd impressions!" happily the whole morning i didn't receive any complains~ but juz before i run off for lunch.. i hear the pharmacist shout "WHO PACK THIS ONE!?!?" then i was like "oh noooo..." hahah turn out to b me.. pack the wrong strength of med.. AGAIN..luckily the pharmacist very nice to me lah, somemore teach me how to take extra caution.. never scold me...not my first time liao... firstly there was the time of Warfarin.. 1mg and 5mg i think.i pack wrongly, then another time is the different type of inhalers...remember he say "Miss ah... pple cannot inhale solution, look properly next time" woops =P it may seem to b a small prob to ya lah.. but in my mind, i think a pharmacist cannot afford any small mistakes like this, can kill one u noe.. i shall improve~ imperfection is not an option!!! wahahah...i going crazy lah.. my aim shall carry over to tml!! or shld i say later in the morning!!

work is kinda routine.. .9 reach work, hear announcements for the day, go back up to pharmacy, feel like machine... open med box, throw med out, pack in 10s, put back in box, refill, pack med for patient..blah until lunch 2pm, finally enjoy the sensation of sitting... 3pm, end of lunch, back to machinery work, 5.30pm released!! but i muz b more careful~ FOCUUUSSS...

had lunch with sc at eastpoint today.. wanted to eat the prata~~ but in the end i in a hurry to rush back to work so failed.. so FrI shall try again~~ hahah... heard she transfering over to raffles outlet for her shop.. then i sad case liao loH.. no one pei me eat lunch. but i think it's a gd chance for her to move~

all my post very random.. suddenli juz hav urge to blog.. so juz write down wad comes to mind.. hahah forgive me for the messiness~

next this came to my mind.. i alwaes say i lazy do this, lazy to that.. actualli.. is it realli i so lazy ah.. sometimes i think i juz use lazy as excuse loh or not juz me lah.. dun u think? laziness is like useful in a huge range of subjects.. useful laH~.. i muz try to b less lazy.. or mayb try to b lazy to be lazy (like wad the heck am i tokinG??) i lost my train of thoughts.. next day remember then continue...

juz wanna make clear here that yesterday wad i posted on my blog, was not out to make pple that were involved in that "incident" to feel guilty... the person i hate the most is juz yu zheng, which seem to hav headed the whole thing.. well, at least the whole event on the day of happening.ok.. i need to stop. depressing stuff eh.. i juz realise one thing or mayb two,i never did.
1) thank sc. thank you very much. 2 times it happen, 2 times u were involved, but then somehow, i alwaes felt u were caught in the middle. u showed me the brighter side of my world
2)thanks for all pple who were involved. for allowing me to realise the darkness of the real world at such a young age. u let me realise exposing yaself makes u vulnerable, and how pple can smile so bright in front of ya, tap on ya shoulder, be ya best friend and on their mind devising some plot or wadeva. thanks.
and after writing these 2 things. i realise i stil haven learn my lesson yet.. omG. ah stil got lesson 3) never believe in "it's for ya own gd." *puke* ya like real.. well at least dun even bother to mention that 5 word to me. =P

YEAH! mind cleared~ time ta go zzz~ if not tml cannot work weLL~ jia you pple and to myself toO! ;D

2005!! -- Part (II)

hahah~ ok.. i'm sorry.. being late to blog...shall pick it up frm where i ended

i shall try and blog in much of wad i remember frm yr start...

it wasn't a gd start lah..my gd tempered dad threw a tantrum on 1st jan...shall not further write why.. cos it's realli bad when my dad loses his temper.. so me and my mom juz went outta the place.. and went ard shopping for abit.. ate then went back home.. where the mood kinda died down.. and it's ok again.. but i realli hate to see him lose temper.. sO sCary.

next thing i remember is.. hahah. .go my cousin house play game and read comics~ routine lah...

then later in the wk when to celebrate my grandpa's bdae in the HK jockey club(a place where onli rich pple get to eat there!!) obviousli is not me family that's so rich lah.. my aunt's husband is totalli rich loh.. heard my mommy say.. her whole yr salary probably only equal to wad he get for one month.. like OMG.

before i left HK went out quite a bit with Winnie (my very first rmmate in aus, and proudly to say, my future rmmate!!), went shopping lah crap ard lah.. hahah one thing i find she damn cute is that when we go shoppin hor.. she is looking for things for me to buy.. hahaha.. go into clothes shop hor.. me still lookin then she will come to me with this stack of clothes and excitedly say to me "esther esther.. try this and this and this.. i think shld look quite nice on you~~ go go..."hahah...

aniwae.. yea.. came back and rot for a wk... n at the same time looking for something to do~

firstly i went back to dhs, to visit teachers~ mostly tan jan fee lah.. cos without her.. i couldn't hav made it to aus (results-wise...) cos my prelims result sucked.. big time... and after that went to ka chow sc's comp train~ hahah i stil cannot forget my love for home nursing (i seeing disgusted faces of sc and others who share hatred for home nursing hahaha)...

me also wrote down my name for relief teaching~ and then go home and reg online.. but sadly to say.. THEY ACTUALLY REJECTED ME!!! aHHHH... most probably cos the online form i cannot feel in probably cos there isn't a place for me to write down that i actualli hav not graduated frm uni, but juz finish yr 1 and probably lack of commitment lah.. oh well.. sad case eh..

next.. next.. got our NA outing!! hahah... i gav up on sqd outing, cos pple juz dun turn up.. lose interest... hahah.. not bad lah. juz like gathering and tok crap loh.. it's amazin to see how some hav changed and some things juz NEVER change.. haha... i shld b frank here~ hahaha hope u dudes dun mind k.. egg.. stil late and VERY much devoted to church activity, mitch, as uM.. open as eva.. , xinyu ah.. is the old xinyu lah.. no need describe.. sc.. the most changed of all.. getting so much more gentle hahah.. and girly =P haha unfortunately it was a short outing since mitch had ta leave earli.. and sc need to go jie sj pple frm perth... and egg was like 1-2 hrs late.. oh well..

i went with sc to go airport lah.. since i nothing to do anyway.. there was a gd thing and bad thing to it lah... gd thing i actualli manage to catch laura who is going to fly off to US to study.... was her mentor for intra comp i think.. not a gd one lah but at least her talents were recognised~ bad thing is.. the STUpid sTupid chee wee... it mite hav been juz a line, a joke.. a line that he didn't gav much thot to b4 he spoke.. "then u b my valentine this yr lah" (agar agar lah) we were tokin abt valentines day this yr.. and he damn sad he no gf to pei him... and this line juz came out... i wld hav jumped all over the place if this line came out like... 4-5 yrs ago.. when i was having this dumb crush on him.. a crush that crushed me. firstly i was thinking abt this the whole day... how i felt so dumb when it was supposingly one-sided.secondly, not until a few days ago while chattin with william pei(my senior in sj last time) that he reminded me wad happened to me during sec 2, that bloody incident.. was all because of this crush i had. i feel DUMb. vERY dUmb. how come my life gets so screwed. or how i let myself get screwed. dUmb. and this again brings up the thot of how terrible a person i muz b to get pple reprimanding u in that form of a manner, not once, but twice (though 2 different grp of pple and 2 different reasons) but stil.. i hate myself.. i dunno is it realli myself or wad. positively i think if i'm realli so terrible, all my frends wun hav shunned me, on the other hand, if negative, i juz think they are all too nice to shun me away... see that's why i set the resolution to solve this conflicting prob i hav with myself. i hate scoldings. i hate it when i dun do things rite.. ARgH.. and that were thots of several days ago. i'm kinda ok now.. but stil i wanna get it gone and over with. Start Afresh! (i even thought of actualli paying someone to get me hypnotized to forget all that have happened during that period of time.. am i crazy or wad? =P but i guess that's realli the last resort and if i hav to go that far to get a life back, i would actualli do it)

and we're reaching the last part~~ i've gotta announce i got my attachment in the hospital with the hospital pharmacist.. been 2 days already...hahah and my legs are totalli GONE. hahah standing for long hrs.. packing western med like a chinese doctor will do.. hopefully someday along this attachment i do get to go ard with the hospital pharmacist to see wad they actualli do. been tiring.. alot of concentration needed.. to prevent frm packing anymore wrong med.. feel so sorry that i seem to b increasin the pple's workload.. but it's a gd chance to see more and experience more~ =) that's all for now... need ta go slp soon.. i've been feeling damn slpy frm 9...OMG.. is this realli me?? =P

2005!!

been a long time since i last blogged... mainly due to laziness... have tons of things to blog.. hopefully i not too lazy to finish them off.. hahah..

firstly i muz remind myself to write down wad i feel i wanna write down, regardless the pple that actually reads this~ mayb u pple think otherwise since it seems rather..too blunt.. but somehow i feel somethings need to be expressed, but mayb i can't say it rite out in ya face, or i juz wanna express(or mayb u guys wld say i juz complaining) myself....

let's start!

since it's a new year, i shall attempt to write the first ever set of resolution~ i never had this kinda habit in doin a resolution, i never bother to write it down but i think i do think abt it.. so this yr, i shall make it special and actualli list it out!

1) Try my best to be less late or not late at all! (Till now not quite successful... =( , but shall jia you!)
2)Be more thrifty in Aust, putting in consideration of how family financial condition is.
3) Change certain bad habits
4) Be more hardworking, to stay on in the course and graduate!!
5) Be nicer (generally, e.g. stop stabbing my ex-rmmate.. I shall TRY VERY VERY HARd.. )
6) Solve my past problems and start afresh~ (seek counselling when i reach aust, and stop hating myself. which again is not going quite well now.. u will noe why when i reach later part of blog)
7) Try to read/watch news everyday
8) Learn new skills (e.g. knitting (YEAH Successful alreadi haha.. juz beginning stage of it), Yoga, and Wing-Chun)
9) Try to slp at a more normal pattern =P

hRm.. oh no.. in order to satisfied my last resolution, i juz realise that it's alreadi 1.30am.. so i shld go off now and continue off tml. yea.. rest assure.. i shall continue.. hahah i promise.. gd nite pple!