Monthly Review

wahahaha.. the lazi bum is here to update again.. cos it's 3.30am at night and i don't feel like sleeping...at all.. maybe i should stay up till tml so i can fix back my body clock... i'm so screwed up now...

i'm having holz.. but i feel that it's passing too quickly.. mayb cos the fact that i've been sleeping 36 hours for the past 3 days.. recuperating i call it.. haha imagine the wk b4 this holz i was realli going crazi with work and had been fallin aslp on my study table for like 4 out of the 5 days of school, the only one day i didn't was that i didn't sleep.. i can't help but scold..."BLOODY HELL.. WHAT KINDA FREAKING UNI IS THIS??" they juz simply LOVEEE to squeeze everything on the wk b4 holz.. terrible terrible.. aust uni is juz terrible

though the title of this update is call.. monthly review.. i don't tok abt what happened this month.. cos.. i dun realli remember wad happened.. life is just passing me by without me remembering much

well... i remember that this semester, had 2 closer friends in uni, one called jun(which previously i thot was called june till i can't help but ask her one day why your nick in msn is jun then i realise.. so dumb rite) the other one called poh lin (which me and my friends frequently refer to wedges (as in those potato wedges leh.. fried ones... hahaha.. why? cos my dear rmmate shindi was tokin to her during lunchtime on one fine day...
*shindi and poh lin were plannin to go get something to eat for lunch, and kinda think it's potato wedges*
shindi: (lookin at poh lin) "lets go... wedges"
*poh lin got up*
me: (wanting to be lame and tryin to bully shindi wahahah.. though this intentions are not realli clear durin that time) "aiyoh... shindi why you so bad one.. call people wedges... and why poh lin also got response one.."

wahahha that's how she got the nick.. poh lin is older then both me and shindi, turnin 2o this yr.. but have not a single sign of 20.. she seems like the same age as me.. and at sometimes i actualli thing she is very similar to siew chin.. wahahha...

well.. the past wk was hectic also cos... i thought that i'm goin to get fired from work, the scooping ice cream one... cos i missed work the 2nd time.. 1st time i bravely admit that it's my fault that i conveniently assumed i was workin the same time and didn't check the roster, but i've learnt my lesson and that i checked everytime.. but sadly, this time it's either someone decide to be so very nice to me to add in the time on my slot or i misread(which seems like an excuse, but frankly speaking.. i really have no idea i was working...i checked the roster definitely since i notice i change in my ususl scheduled time) for the whole wk, i happily thought that i was to work on saturday only and when my de other work for notetaking called to say i have work on thurs i gladly accepted... then on that day i had a super early day off (just 2 hours of school starting from 9) and then i went off to hazalea's place to check out how's my outfit for the annual dance and dinner for the malaysian's society(i'm attending since derek is and have to as he ran for a position in the committee in the society and needs to attend the dinner to know the results, in the end of cos he got the position since it was a walkover but still, appearing is very important for PR...he is the internal secretary now...), melinda came along too.. i was suppose to go home when haz felt like skipping her tute and lecture and we decided to catch a movie b4 i head off to work..we watched princess diaries 2.. which was sweet and funny~ but just at the best part, scoop ice cream work there decides to call...(after 3 miss calls i decided to pick up the phone)
work: hello, are you coming for work?
me: um.. nope, i wasn't scheduled for today, and if this is about me taking over andrea(my colleage at work who ask me to take over her shift for the evenin as she have a report due the next day and haven started it yet) i already told her i couldn't make it as i have another job today...
work: andrea already called in sick but she didn't mention anithing about you.. are you coming or not?
me: i told you i've got another job today and i cannot come...(i'm gettin messed up and pissed...)
work: so you're not coming?
me: no.. i'm not, i cannot make it... and i wasn't scheduled for today, i checked...
work: no... there it says on your timeslot...
me:what? i don't know anything.. i cannot come today...
work: so you not coming.. fine.. *puts down*
i was left at the cinema, feeling lost, missin the best part of the movie and frantic
this manager would fire me cos i alwaes felt that she have something against me.. cutting down my hours.. hinting that i don't work well.. picking on me(kinda)... well i was prepared.. the next day she called again to ask what happened and i explained to her, honestly, i see no point in lying or wadsoeva.. i had another application form to a nearby bubble tea shop ready and actually noticed that the warner bros studio shop is recruiting and was already planning to print out the resume for them.. when on the day of meeting the manager, she cancelled the meeting...and after checking.. i'm stil rostered for comin wks ... now i'm really confused.. but i won't be seeing her.. till i don't know when.. so i will be in this state till i meet her again.. i'm absolutely excited about the idea of workin in warner bros.. you know me.. with all those tazs lying everywhere.. staff discount(i hope~ so i can get all those taz products.. and mayb even staff trips to gold coast where the headquarters, warner bros studio is~w wahahahhahah) i don't know.. till things settle down

now back to the holz, so free.. yet so busy.. don't feel like doin the pile of work waitin for me at home, i don't like my place at all, alwaes like to hide out in other pple places, out and not facing my place, since it is where all my work, my study table resides, but i feel so guilty too, not doin anithing.. i hate myself.. idiotic lazi bum.. urGhz.. i hate studies.. i needta work.. i feel that i'm burdening my family so much by studyin here.. and my course is so time consuming.. lookin at those commerce pple who alwaes have at least one day off the 5 days of sch.. i feel so envious...oh well.. different requirements i guess..

and this 2 days, i saw derek's cousin and his gf, frantically writin their thesis, since one of them is doing honours and one is in his final term.. oh my gosh.. i can't do a thing about this wadeva thesis.. the sound of it suck.. don't even ask me to write it.. think i mite juz faint and die.. over the passing year, i realise i don't like wad i'm doing at all.. all the time, i feel like quitting school.. i don't know.. even though i knew from the start that i needed to chose some course that i like, and i thought that i like this subject about pharmacy.. i realise i've chosen the wrong course, this was not wad i was thinking off.. the people are just so good and clever, i'm back to where i was.. near the last few amount the pool of people, back to where i was in dhs.. where i was struggling to keep up even when i was among the not-so-good klass... sighz furthermore i cannot fail, i cannot fail at anithing.. i have to complete this course in 4 years or else, i will end up in no where since i really doubt whether my mom can support me if i take more then 4 years to complete the course, every year, this freakin aus uni is goin to increase their price by like 10-20%... they think what, i have a gold mine beneath my house or something...

to the someone that actulli bothered to read till this part.. i congratulate u since i'm sick and tired of reading wad i'm typing.. i'm doing random whining...

yes, i whine.. so wad.. everybody says i whine.. and that's wad i am, it's natural.. u not happy u go.. everybody does it some time or another.. just that i do it more often...i use to have things the good way, where i need not whine.. at all.. my family was financially above average, happily together(not that it's not happy now.. but just not together), i score well academically and in sports, and music, i have my parents to rely on... but now wad? i struggle to keep up, i have to worry about money i see pple who are rich and just spend their money or rich and keep on saying they're poor(which pisses me off cos it seems fake...) n i have to take care of other pple.. who are older then me.. one gd eg. is the pple in my house now.. they're older then me.. but wad kinda rubbish they present me... super dirty kitchen that if i clean it today(which i realli just did) and mess it up again tml with matchsticks on the counter EVERYWHERE(as if a rubbish bin didn't exist within 30cm(which actualli does)) a ricecooker that belonged to me and anyone with common sense shld noe that rice that is cooked should be scoop out to a container and put into the fridge and wash that freaking ricecooker that doesn't belong to you and is a communal object to be used by everyone and shld not be filled with the same old cooked rice that's cooked 3days ago.. D*** it.. i miss the empty rice cooker..

there i go again.. i gotta stop.. this is pissing myself off... wad the heck..uRGhz